Something I wanted to share: I simultaneously keep two journals: a choreography journal and a journal for free writing. The choreography journal is a mess - sometimes I even fill the pages out of order or start from the back. Sometimes I will write and imagine, and know I have more to wrestle with on this idea, so I leave a few blank pages so I can come back later. Sometimes I come back and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes those pages just get used for new ideas, thoughts or feedback. It’s the way I keep myself in check, being present, not trying to ‘write a book’ from beginning to end, but I use it as an open, living, breathing document that can reflect the mess inside my mind. I take it to rehearsal, write choreography notes in it, plan out large ideas about structure, staging, realizations, questions. It frustrates me how messy it is and how sometimes I can’t find things that I wrote down which then makes me need to re-envision / recreate that original idea or thought. I think I purposely make it this much of a mess so that I don’t become too precious with or lean too much on words. I put it into existence by writing it down and then let it go and if it comes back I know it is resonating. My second journal is a more linear documenting of thoughts and feelings, chronological, one page after another. Sometimes it is just for free writing but it’s much neater, clearer, and I don’t like to skip pages, I like to use a nice pen that writes smoothly (I’ve been known to write with my sons’ crayons in my choreography journal!). We often imagine creating as a process that is about organizing thoughts or ideas - however I think creating is about giving space for all of our messiness to show up - all of it - so we can then have an incredibly rich palate from which we make… - Ana Maria Alvarez